I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
