well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
