alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
