So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
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