I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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