In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
