My first STD was from a foam party
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
