he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
