Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize