Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
