It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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