We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
They took my balls.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
