I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
