Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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