Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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