Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
