super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize