dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
