You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
