I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
