nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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