ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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