3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
