Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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