i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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