i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
