My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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