PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
