just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
