She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
