He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Did I show you my penis last night?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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