Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
