i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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