yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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