i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
