just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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