Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
