sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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