I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
