Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
