Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
this boner is exhausting
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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