I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize