I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
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