remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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