Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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