I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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