i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
