Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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