She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
