So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
