my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
