is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
