You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
