yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
