he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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