if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
They have beer where we have blood.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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