If i come over, it means nothing
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
