Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i now understand why vodka
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
