Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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