i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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