im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
