I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You made out with two different species that night
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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