..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
