I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
