so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This is classic penis vs brain.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
