he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
