who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize