Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
