Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
