Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize