im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
