Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize